Nothing Personal
by pattie mayonnaise
Summary: Inuzuka women never did go for normal guys. Normal guys never went for Inuzuka women, either. Mix high blood pressure and a mouthy young woman and you've got HanaIbiki, romantically. Other pairings possible.
1. The Legendary Kuroi Kabe

**A/N: **Yes, I know, another Ibiki story. This time Ibiki is a lot less threatening than in my other fic "Welcome Back, Kankurou." No, I'm definitely not name-dropping that fic for the purpose of promotion. Anyways, HanaIbiki. Enjoy the crack pairing, I find it incredibly cute. :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

* * *

It was when he walked into the office that he had the privilege of finding out how it felt to be the sole reason why a really good joke was killed. The loud, healthy laughter shared between the two women at the time when he arrived was now replaced with a perilously awkward silence, and the younger of the two was now staring him down with a gaze so blistering and fierce, it could only be done by an Inuzuka.

"I have work to do," she said stiffly, throwing another threatening look at Ibiki before leaving the room. He watched her leave, not at all shocked by her treatment of him, and turned back to the woman still standing in front of him.

"She just doesn't like you very much," Tsume said sympathetically, her eyebrow raised. It was the closest she could get to an apology without actually apologizing, done more so out of habit and good manners than sparing Ibiki's feelings.

"Who does?" he grunted in return.

The Inuzuka laughed. "You're right on that one," she teased with a good-humored smile. "So what can I do for you today? It's not every day you get the renowned chief of the Interrogation Force strutting into the veterinary office."

His disgruntled expression swiftly darkened into one of suspicion as his eyes shifted from left to right, checking his surroundings for unwanted eyes and wandering ears.

"Calm yourself, Morino. There's nobody else in this room but me."

"Fine," he replied, his voice still a low hiss. "His name's Onbin Kairai. Recent uncovered information links one of our high-ranked prisoners to him. He's not currently listed as a priority case, so surveillance on him is relatively low. But get this: the few keeping tabs on him lost track of him, and since then nothing's been done to relocate him. That lucky son-of-a-bitch is getting away with everything!"

"I see. And what has the Hokage said about this?"

He suddenly looked uneasy. "She, eh, doesn't know about it yet," he murmured, adjusting the collar of his coat for no reason.

"Aha! I knew there was a catch!" She stuck her finger accusingly in his face. "You're always sneaking around, you bloody nincompoop."

"So I sort of obtained unauthorized information using unauthorized means. The job wouldn't get done otherwise. Damn it, Tsume! Damn bureaucracy! My hunches are always right, I'm entitled to act upon them at will!"

She watched his growling tirade in amusement. "And you need my help because—?"

He calmed down considerably at her sign of interest, and the inflamed vein in his neck ceased its throbbing. "Tsunade will only listen to me if I've got a plan of action already prepared. If I've got you behind my back there's no way she can say no."

"I'm assuming this isn't the first time you've done this, then."

"The Hokage doesn't understand the importance of these things. She puts too much trust in those Jounin kids. Over _me_. My expertise. What do they know? Anyone can become Jounin these days!"

Tsume folded her arms in annoyance. "Oi, Ibiki. Even our most elite are mediocre to you. That's my son you're talking about. You're never pleased!" She gestured wildly at him with her rising temper.

"Your son is a most definite exception," he smirked suddenly, and Tsume had the feeling that he was simply pandering to get on her good side. "All the Inuzuka are. I'll need the best trackers Konoha has seen in the past decade for this highly prestigious mission. That's why I came to you." He put a hand on his heart. "You owe me, Tsume. Let's not forget that."

"You're still bringing that up?" she sighed. "I most definitely do not owe you. That 'thank you' gift basket I sent you was enough."

"Let's hear what Kiba has to say about you likening his career advancement to a gift basket with a couple of chocolate bars."

"There was more in it than that! Anyhow, if I knew you'd be this demanding, I'd have never asked you to recommend Kiba for promotion."

"But you did, and it paid off, did it not?" he pressed. "That's what friends do. They do favors for each other, because they care. Won't you be a good friend and do this favor for me?"

It was an odd sight to see the towering, burly man holding his palms together beseechingly, a pleading look on his face.

"All right, all right," she relented at last. "I'll think about your request."

"That's all? You're just going to _think_ about it?"

"I'm going to very seriously consider it, how's that?"

"That's not good enough."

"Everything's not good enough to you," Tsume retorted, rolling her eyes. She began to force him out by gently guiding him by the shoulders to the door. "I told you my reply. Go home and rest. Calm yourself down a bit, you've gotten yourself too worked up."

"I'll come back tomorrow. I'll expect your approval then."

"Get out of here!"

She watched with a grin as the man left and the door swung behind him. Hana must have heard the small bell attached to it jingle for as soon as Ibiki was gone she appeared in the room.

"You really shouldn't talk to him, Mom," she said sternly.

With a wave of her hand and a friendly scoff, she replied, "And why not?"

"You know what he does."

The elder woman walked up to her daughter and affectionately tousled her hair, to the girl's chagrin. "Ah, so that's what you mean," Tsume replied. "You know, I knew Ibiki before he joined the Force, and before he became famously known as the _kuroi kabe_, as you kids call him. I can't say I agree with everything he does, but it'd be harder for me to call him a bad man." She paused for a moment, as if recollecting a faint memory. "My first paid job was baby-sitting for him and his brother, did you know that?"

"Swell," replied Hana bitterly. Her arms had folded sometime during her mother's previous monologue. "The only word that comes to my mind to describe you right now is 'hypocrite.'"

Tsume chuckled. "You're completely right, Hana."

"So? What about what you told Kiba and me about Dad?"

"And here I thought you'd be pleased enough to hear me admit that you're right," Tsume said with a weary sigh. "As long as you're not planning on joining the Interrogation Force anytime soon, I'll deal. What I said about your father was true, and I still stand by it, too. You can't control everything in the world, Hana. One day you'll learn that."

"No one has to _learn_ that. That's just common sense."

"Ah, Hana, quit your griping and get back to work." Tsume groaned and ran her fingers through her wild hair. "I don't need you being ludicrously stubborn like me. That's why men don't like Inuzuka women."

"Good," answered the young woman in a huff, as she made her way to the other room to continue her work. "All the men in this town suck anyway."

* * *

I used the word "nincompoop." I'm not sure how long this fic will be, but I do know next chapter will be much longer than this one. This was a short, little introduction piece, just to warm up the story. Reviews are highly appreciated and regarded!

_kuroi kabe_: black wall

Onbin Kairai: Quiet Puppet, literally. Surname listed first. If there's a lapse in my humble attempts at incorporating Japanese into my fic, let me know. :)


	2. Nobody Really Likes Being Psychoanalyzed

**A/N:** Sorry it's taken me so long to update! In addition to general laziness, I have gotten caught up in college work and that business. (Excuses...) I shall surely get the third chapter up sooner, just because I like it more. Anyhow, some comments about this chapter: I had to use the whole "flashback in italics" deal, because it just made things more fluid. If you think it's cheesy, it's because it is but you'll just have to deal with it. I took the liberty of naming Hana's and Kiba's father, because he'd have no name otherwise. (HUGE thanks to Saru Wolfe for helping me decide on one!) And I'm not making fun of model ship building, I promise. It's for future purposes. :)

Reviews are welcome! I won't stop you for doing so. And a thank you full of LOVE and joyous hugs to those who did review last chapter, and to anyone who checked out the story! :D

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Naruto.

* * *

She supposed she had been asking for it. Her mother must have noticed her overly cheerful smiles and faraway looks of longing whenever she and Kiba would go on their little "mother-son" Inuzuka clan specialty missions, especially after Kiba's promotion to Tokubetsu Jounin three months prior, which rightfully increased the number of those missions. Hana knew she had never been requested because she had so much work to do at the veterinary office—something that she herself had said before—and that being a veterinarian was her specialty over the tracking and combat missions her family went on. It was an insanely childish jealousy, but she never could shake the thought of being left behind—_she_ was an Inuzuka too—and that they must have made a terribly proficient duo to be so highly in demand. All without her.

The funny thing was that now that she had finally gotten her wish to be called upon, without her bringing the subject up, for the exceedingly coveted position on an Inuzuka team mission, she didn't want it anymore. At least, not with such a deal-crushing catch to go along with it.

Hana now realized just how well Tsume knew her, to have been able to get her to agree to something like this. It had been two days ago when her mother had decided to approach her, when she had had an extremely good day at work (Hana hardly thought it was a coincidence). Two weeks before, a civilian had brought in a stray dog that had a leg covered with sores—possibly from a fight with another dog—left untreated for so long, it was severely infected with gangrene. After an emergency amputation of the leg, the dog, which had already been in poor health, was put in a further weakened state from the strain of surgery and powerful medication. The entire medical staff, including Hana, had feared the dog wouldn't make it, but he proved them wrong and not only survived the first night, but the entire week after when he started to eat regularly again. It was two days ago that he had gone happily for his first three-legged walk.

It had been after-hours, when Hana was re-organizing her sets of first-aid kits, humming contentedly as she replenished the supply of bandages and refilled the bottles of antiseptic, when she sensed Tsume peeking at her from behind the wall.

Curiously enough, Tsume had jumped when Hana acknowledged her presence, indicating something suspicious. The older woman attempted the nonchalant act by slinking up to the counter where her daughter stood and leaning against it casually, her elbows propped up behind her.

_There was a sly twinkle in her eyes that Hana did not overlook. "I've got a special mission for you," Tsume declared._

_Of course, it heightened Hana's excitement immensely. "What is it?" she urged excitedly as her eyes brightened. "Come on, out with it!"_

"_Nah, never mind. Perhaps I should just let you get the briefing from Tsunade—"_

"_Mom!"_

"_I'm kidding!" Tsume laughed. "It's a Clan specialty mission, of course. You are to track this man down and bait the fool out of his hiding place, then bring him back to Konoha so that he can be properly put into custody. Your mission leader will take care of that."_

_Hana's expression melted into one of confusion. "You mean you're not going to be my mission leader?" _

"_Oh Hana, I'm sorry," she said gently, brushing a strand of hair out of Hana's face. "No, it's not me, I've just gotten a mission today. Leaving for it tonight."_

_Tsume could detect the rising suspicion in her daughter's voice. "Who is it, then?"_

_Her mother avoided eye contact as she gestured into empty air, as if she were conversing to an invisible figure next to them. "Oh, you know, Morino Ibiki."_

"_Ibiki?" Hana responded in displeasure. "Alone?"_

"_Not alone,__" the elder woman laughed guiltily.__ "You have the __Haimaru Sankyodai, don't you?"_

_Hana groaned. "Aw, Mom. Not him. Anyone but him. You did this on purpose."_

"_I don't understand where all this disdain for him comes from," Tsume snapped back, suddenly stern. "You're going on this mission and that's that!"_

Despite Tsume's sharp orders, Hana had been able to work her way out of the mission by pretending she had too much work at the office to do, and that it would impossible for her to depart from her duties for such an extended amount of time. Although slightly skeptical, her mother bought the excuse. It hadn't been long after, however, that Hana regretted her decision.

"_Mom, you can't be seriously sending Kiba off on that mission you told me about."_

_Tsume looked up from her reading. "Well, since you so vehemently turned it down, I asked Kiba. He was so excited about it, I wonder why I didn't ask him first."_

_Hana pursed her lips, and folded her arms. Seeing her daughter pouting in such a way, Tsume couldn't help but recall the times when Hana threw similar fits as a child._

"_Fine. I'll do it."_

"_You'll do what, exactly?"_

"_I'll go on the stupid mission!" the girl replied. "I'm not going to leave my little brother alone with that man. I don't care how long you've known Ibiki, I still don't trust him."_

_Tsume shook her head. "It surprises me just how firmly you can hold onto grudges that are unfounded."_

"_We'll see about that."_

Hana's thoughts were interrupted when she caught wind of something Kiba was saying to Ibiki that raised her interest. The two were seemingly getting along very well, and Kiba actually appeared to quite like the older man. Despite her inhibitions about Ibiki, she had to admit that there hadn't been anything that seemed out of ordinary with him, though she knew she wasn't going to let her guard down just yet.

"It's funny that you and my mom are friends," said the scruffy-haired boy. "How'd that happen anyway?"

"Who really knows?" Ibiki replied. "She drives me nuts."

Kiba laughed. "Nothing personal, Ibiki, but you're sort of too much of a frightening guy to be going around having friends."

"You don't say?" the taller man replied in interest. "You don't seem all that frightened by me now, to be saying that."

Kiba shrugged. "That's 'cause I don't get scared easily." He then nodded to the girl lagging behind them. "Hana's the one who's terrified of you."

"That's not _true_," Hana protested angrily, lightly reprimanding him with a small shove to his shoulder. She wasn't _terrified_ of him, just…suspicious.

Kiba turned his head around slightly so that he could throw his older sister a snarky look as he continued to talk to Ibiki. "Truth is she rejected this mission at first, until she found out it was just going to be you and me. Freaked out to my mother and now here she is, adding her estrogen to what would have been our male-bonding experience." He jokingly slapped his hand onto Ibiki's back as a signal of friendship.

Ibiki scowled as he glared at the mouthy teenage boy next to him, narrowing his eyes as the boy's grin abruptly melted away and his eyes widened into an expression of true, unadulterated panic as he removed his hand from the other's back.

"Not scared easily, eh?" the older man then teased, as booming laughter filled the air.

The confusion on Kiba's face dissolved in an instant, and back was his former, loud-mouthed self. "Ibiki, please, that stunt is pulled more times than I fart in a day. Tch, I wasn't scared, just humoring you. What good would a joke be if no one humors it?" He shrugged carelessly. "My advice to you would be to find original material, Big Guy." He cackled at the unconvinced expression on Ibiki's face, but his back straightened to appear taller and his gait seemed to switch to a long-strided strut, either an ill-timed attempt to stretch out sore muscles, or he really was trying to make up for the masculinity that had just been tested.

Hana laughed silently to herself as she chose the latter rationale and watched the men walk in front of her. She couldn't deny her appreciation for Ibiki putting Kiba in his place using a most entertaining method. Though his default expression seemed to be an intimidating slight scowl, he often broke it with recurrent exhibitions of his sense of humor and smiled with relative ease and frequency. This image of him as a receptive and surprisingly pleasant person to be around—along with apparently having quite a knack of getting along with the rough Inuzuka, considering his appeal to both Tsume and Kiba—was entirely the opposite she had in mind, and was causing her to have all sorts of doubts. Something seemed off, and with his unreadable eyes, she couldn't tell if his affability was a portion of his personality he reserved for select people, or if being the lead ANBU Torture and Interrogation shinobi meant he knew quite well how to morph himself into whatever he wanted depending on the subjects that surrounded him.

She wondered if he ever in his daily life thought about the prisoners he dealt with, if they were human to him or mere nameless criminals, if he cared at all whether they were innocent or guilty, if he had any regrets. Did he think about his past and the blood he must have spilled and the minds left behind after the abuse as they rotted in prison cells, and did it ever cross his mind what sort of influence he had on the prisoner's life after it was all over? The aftermath. After he had gotten the answers he needed, or a deal made in some sort of temporary war treaty, that allowed the lucky few to go home. Her father…how had his torturer been like? Had he been like Ibiki? Cruel and pitiless when the job called for it but untroubled and friendly around his family and friends? Could he switch on and off two sides of him whenever he wanted, whenever it benefited him the most? And which side, then, was the real one?

She was immediately brought back to her senses as she tripped over a stray, upturned tree root and fell into Kiba's back in front of her. Despite stumbling a bit from the sudden collision, he was able to remain standing and stabilized his sister until she returned to secure footing. "Smooth," he joked, and then when he recognized an odd, foggy look on her face he suddenly appeared concerned. "Are you all right, Hana?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," she insisted with a smile. Her brother believed her.

* * *

By sunset they had set up camp in a very small clearing in between the clustered and crowded trees and foliage that made up the forest. It seemed to be quite the cozy spot in contrast to the area around it, and the Haimaru Sankyodai had detected a fresh-water river a hundred yards away, to the ninja party's luck. Perhaps it had been awhile since she last had a mission such as this one, but she hadn't remembered the path she had travelled along then to be so inundated with undergrowth and difficult, thorny shrubbery. Hana was not one to whine but even she had to admit to herself that it was wholly irritating to have her arms and legs cut up every time they grazed a thorn, or to feel a persistent itchy sensation as if microscopic bugs were relentlessly nibbling at her skin. Combined with her already sour mood and the fact that Kiba and Ibiki seemed less affected by the killer brush considering their long sleeves and pants, she silently fumed as she wiped off the trickles of blood on her legs.

Kiba ventured off with Akamaru to find enough wood for at least a modest fire while Ibiki took it upon himself to set up small booby traps around the perimeter to alert him of unwanted intruders. Rolling her eyes, but not entirely disagreeing with the precautions, Hana left for the river to gather more water for the team. When she returned, Ibiki was nowhere to be found, and the Sankyodai were missing as well. Though she could sense the dogs nearby—probably exploring the area and chasing rabbits, if they found any—there was no such technique to use for the elusive man.

She figured the Sankyodai would be hungry by now, and that it was safe to assume Akamaru would be too when he came back, so she prepared their food.

"Eichi! Inbi! Yami!" she called sharply so that they would hear.

The hefty Triplets bounded up to her from behind the trees and hastily ravaged the bowls of food. "Sorry you have to have the packaged stuff tonight, boys," she said quietly as they ate. "When we get to a town, you'll have a yummy feast, I promise."

They finished eating faster than she anticipated, even for the massive dogs they were. Eichi, who had assumed the role of Alpha dog at the start of the mission being the eldest of all the dogs (even it was only by a margin of minutes with his brothers), now looked up at her hopefully, licking his lips. She smiled at the gesture. It was times like this that she found her sturdy puppies (at least, they would always seem like puppies to her) irresistible.

"No, you can't eat the fourth bowl. It's for Akamaru."

The three brothers let out stubborn grunts but obediently backed away from the food and went to their own business. It wasn't long after that Kiba and Akamaru returned with wood intended to build a fire. As Kiba dropped the large bundle in his arms sloppily to the ground, Hana called Akamaru over for dinner. The dog was more than willing to abandon Kiba's side to enjoy the indulgence being offered.

"Akamaru likes me better," Hana teased smugly.

"Traitor," Kiba pouted as he eyed the dog grimly. Akamaru happily barked in return, as his version of joining in on the teasing of his beloved partner, before taking to his food bowl. "But don't think that you're out of the job once you've finished!" Kiba added after that.

Hana watched her brother as he busied himself with fishing through his bag for matches. "You put them in the left pocket," she offered, and once he located the matchbox right in the place his sister suggested, he answered with a sheepish smile. "At least there's one reason to keep you around," he joked, and Hana stuck her tongue out at him. "By the way," Kiba added, looking around the site in curiosity, "since you know everything, where's Ibiki?"

Hana shrugged in response. "He was missing when I got back from getting water for the camp," she replied idly. "Maybe he went out on his paranoia binge to booby trap the whole damn forest."

With her back turned she heard Kiba chuckle in response as she patted Akamaru's head before he left to help her brother dig a hole for the fire. She washed the used dog bowls and put them back into her bag, taking out the packages of instant "soup" for the humans to eat. It had the relative consistency of soup, chunks that at least tasted like meat, and vegetables that had a tendency to still be dry even after the hot water had been poured. The best part about it was that it was ready in three minutes and could be eaten straight out the package, something sacred for shinobi who had to pack light and couldn't afford the excessive clanking of pots and pans just so they could have a gourmet meal in the middle of the forest. There were worse things, after all. She had packed enough for three meals a day for three days, but hopefully all would go well and they'd make it to towns from here on out so they wouldn't have to keep eating them. She began to organize the few eating utensils they had neatly in front of her; just because they were eating processed meat and vegetables out of a bag didn't mean it didn't require proper preparation. It wasn't long after she had taken to the task, however, that she was suddenly—and rudely—interrupted.

"AGGH!" she screamed, thrashing around in fear as she was suddenly hoisted up from behind and a strong arm wrapped around her neck, a kunai held out in front of her face by her assaulter.

"I'm delighted you thought to bring napkins," the faceless attacker murmured listlessly, his grip still tight and the kunai still dangerously close.

She recognized the voice instantly. "What's wrong with you, you psycho? Let go!"

Ibiki obeyed as he and Kiba indulged in laughter, the older man's steady bellow contrasting with the younger man's hearty cackle.

"You get a sick pleasure out of scaring the hell out of people?" Hana lashed back at him, eyeing him maliciously as she smoothed down her clothes.

"You could say that," he nodded, tucking his kunai back into its sheath. "You could say that I just taught you a lesson in never letting your guard down to...whatever it is you're doing."

Kiba laughed. Hana threw a look of displeasure at her brother before addressing Ibiki again. "Why didn't you attack Kiba, huh? He's the annoying one."

"Kiba was paying attention. Look at the way he's got his kunai in his boot there, just a short grip away should he need it. He and Akamaru, though busy working on that fire, kept one eye each out on their surroundings," Ibiki stated firmly, as Kiba nodded arrogantly from behind him. Hana rolled her eyes as Ibiki continued. "There were a number of times I could have gotten you—when you went to get water, when you were feeding the dogs, so on and so forth—when your attention was concentrated to only one activity, but I think I waited for the best time, don't you think?"

Hana narrowed her eyes at him but did not respond. Just how long had he been following her? In truth, she felt ashamed to be having Ibiki admonish her for not doing what should have been an innate action for a shinobi…maybe it really had been such a long time since her last mission, but that wasn't a legitimate excuse. No reason would be a legitimate excuse. She had slipped up, and she couldn't slip up like this again. Especially not when they finally reached the objective of their mission. Not when her pride was on the line. This never would have happened at the hospital.

"Remember from now on," Ibiki added. This time, his taunting tone was now darkly serious. "There is no such thing as a safe zone. Never let your guard down again; not being prepared can cause the deaths of any one of us, or worse, the capture."

The camp grew silent after that except for the soft crackling of a new-born fire weakly interrupting it every so often, until the soft clanking of the weapons on their lapels sounded as the three moved to claim their packaged instant dinner.

"Hey, Ibiki," Kiba said finally in between bites, as if nothing had happened, once he settled comfortably against a tree. "Tell us something about our parents."

"Your parents?" Ibiki echoed, taking a short glance at Hana, who had caught his attention when she had turned sharply at her brother in interest. "What do you want to know?"

"Well, you knew them when you were younger, right?" he replied thoughtfully. "Tell us something you remember about them from a long time ago, from before Hana was born."

"All right," Ibiki began, pausing for a moment in thought. "I suppose I could divulge when I first met Kouro. Frankly, I couldn't stand him. My earliest memory of him was that he broke my ship model when I tried to sail it."

"He did that?" Kiba wondered with doubt in his voice, fearing Kouro a bully.

"You built ship models?" Hana asked at the same time, one eyebrow quirked.

"Well, on accident of course, but he was the type who was unruly and careless enough to often be the cause of accidents like that," Ibiki told the young man sitting next to him, and then, turning his attention to the woman across, "Do I not seem like someone who would have a hobby?"

"It's just hard to picture you as a regular kid, much less a nerdy one."

"What's so nerdy about that?"

"Can we get back to the subject?" interrupted Kiba in slight aggravation.

"Hm, yes, well," mumbled Ibiki, as he paused for a moment to recall what the subject had been about in the first place. "Right, he fell on my ship model as I was testing it to float on the river, while he was trying to catch a fish with his bare hands…I suppose to impress his friends. I was furious—he didn't even catch a fish—until he found me after school the next day with a brand-new model ship set."

"Sounds like something he'd do," grinned Kiba. Hana remained silent.

"It was that day he met Tsume, since she usually kept me company when my parents were away on missions, and would walk me home from school," Ibiki continued. "He instantly took to her, no surprise. Your mother may dress now like she's got something to hide, but back in the day she used to wear some, uh," he cleared his throat respectfully, "some low-cut tops."

"Are you saying my mom was a hottie, Ibiki?" Kiba grinned.

"That would be the term nowadays, yes."

"So you liked her rack."

"I was eight with a sudden exposure to real womanhood," Ibiki replied as he lounged against the tree with his eyes closed. "'Course I did."

Kiba hooted in delight. "Ibiki! You dog!"

Hana was quickly finding her attempts to hold back a smirk futile. "You should tell her that sometime," she offered. "Either she'll appreciate it and finally get out of whatever funk she's been in for the past eight years, or give you the well-deserved beating you've been asking for since we started this mission. It's a win-win situation."

"Hm," Ibiki began, nodding in agreement, "but unfortunately it's a little more complicated than that with your mother."

At that moment he spilt a stream of brown sauce onto his vest when he tipped the bag upside-down in order to gather the last remnants of the meal into his mouth. He grunted in displeasure as he stared at the stain, a bit of sauce dribbling down his chin as well. Picking up a napkin and waving it at Hana in what seemed like slight mockery (to which she replied with an overly sweet grin) he wiped at the mess. He mumbled something unintelligible.

Kiba ignored the disruption. "You mean my father…don't you?" he asked hesistantly. "That's what makes things more complicated?"

"Hm? Oh yes, I guess that could be what I meant," replied the ANBU captain. "Or it may not."

The camp remained in silence after the comment, until Ibiki made another when he spotted the faraway look on Kiba's face.

"Meh, it had its problems, but if there was one good thing about their relationship—besides the both of you, you know—it was that I could tell your parents were in love with each other, despite it all," he said quietly.

"Interesting," Kiba said after a moment of reflection, attempting to sound indifferent even though the easy smile on his face and his contented eyes gave away his true feelings.

The subject of their parents was not brought up again after that as Kiba switched to sharing (or really, bragging about) his near-death experiences as a shinobi and stories about his teammates, morphing at some point into a lament about a girl he'd been dating who now wouldn't leave him alone. Ibiki would nod and comment every so often to keep the young man satisfied, and though Hana made sure to tease her brother when she could, she knew Ibiki noticed how detached she remained from the conversation by the way his attention would turn to her every so often.

After two hours of talking and lazing around, the inevitable and eventual silence that came with a burned-out conversation took its place. It was in this moment of realization that each took to staring into oblivion in his or her particular way: one contemplatively to the starry sky, one piercingly into the fire, and the last abstractedly at nothing in particular. It was sometime deep in this lack of development that Kiba announced he was bored and therefore going to sleep.

Even later still, when Kiba's and Akamaru's harmonizing snores became hypnotizing enough for Hana to be thoroughly induced to a trance-like state, Ibiki decided to speak.

"I have a feeling you don't like me very much."

Hana looked up from the fire in the direction the deep voice had addressed her to find the burliest human of the group staring at her intently, indolently chewing on what appeared to be some long strand of grass.

"Your brain's sharp," she replied derisively. "Are you trying to impress me with it?"

He continued chewing, expressionless. "That's a shame, that you don't like me," he mused. "I like you, you know. You remind me of Tsume in a way."

Hana let out a snort. "You don't even know me. I'm hardly like her."

"It's not a bad thing." He stopped the incessant chewing for a moment, letting the smallest of smirks sneak onto his lips. "I've always had a soft spot for authoritative women."

She involuntarily blushed as her once-defiant gaze turned wordlessly aghast, eventually faltering completely when she whisked her head to the Haimaru brother closest to her to avoid the awkward eye contact. Ibiki wasn't trying to _flirt_ with her, was he? He was acting much too strange and much too like Shiranui Genma with that chewing business for his own good. Searching for any action to distract herself, she took to petting the dog's head as he was already in her line of vision, causing the canine to exhale in an affectionate, relaxed sigh as he closed his eyes.

It was then, with a narrowing of her eyes, that the thought hit her. No, that wasn't it. Ibiki wasn't flirting. He was _teasing_ her. Toying with her mind. Finding out just what exactly pushed her buttons the most to mollify his piercing boredom, probably. He was good, Hana admitted. Real good. He must have known how she was a young, twenty- two year old single woman who worked endless hours day in and day out, who could head an entire veterinary crew in a hectic emergency room and single-handedly concoct an antidote for mycetism in just under an hour—unheard of for any other veterinarian in Fire country—but couldn't find a single date, much less a boyfriend. And a young woman obviously must always be in want of a boyfriend. It was an incredibly stereotypical conclusion—sexist, even—and Hana despised just how utterly true it was for herself despite.

She had had enough quips from her own mother, who could quite possibly be the poster-child for pseudo-feminists everywhere should someone start such a club. The woman taped her breasts down to diminish her solid C-cup size, refused to wear skirts, had belching contests with her son and could make nearly any man cower in fear when he came in her way during battle, but when it came to her daughter she became one with the annoying elders that roamed around Konoha with narrow eyes spying for anything out of the traditional, with only a frivolous wit to set her apart from the old farts.

When she wasn't teasing Hana about inheriting her hard-headedness and so-called "Man Panic jutsu" (a joke born from a sarcastic remark by Kiba on one of his idiot days about how she scared Kouro away, and upheld because it had hurt her mother more than she wanted to admit), she was giving her serious talks about being a softer and more agreeable woman, like a Daimyo's daughter, because that's the type of woman men liked. As if becoming a respected veterinarian—with also a sound knowledge of basic medic-nin skills—at her age wasn't enough accomplishment if she wasn't married by twenty-five. Tsume would then insist that she only wanted her daughter to be happy.

Of course, whenever Hana turned the same points against her mother, and pointed out Tsume's reasons for not dating were identical to her own, Tsume would shrug it off with a lazy and slightly condescending, "_Obviously_ it's different for me—I'm too old for that tripe, Hana," and a brusque lament about her disillusionment of men and marriage. Hana couldn't see what was so different about their situations, nor did she think that her mother, at forty-one, was old. If Tsume followed the very advice she gave Hana, she might get somewhere. She didn't have to give up just because of Kouro, and accomplish the sound love life she wanted vicariously through her daughter.

As for herself, it wasn't her fault men were morons, and couldn't handle a woman the second she showed she had a brain and spoke her mind. _That's_ why men tended to overlook her. Ibiki didn't have to rub it in her face. It wasn't like he was getting any when he went home at night.

That conniving, scheming slimeball. Did he really think she would fall for his trick? So he caught her a little off-guard, big deal. It was going to take a lot more to get her truly flustered. She whipped her head back to him to find him still staring, the smirk and ridiculous piece of grass gone from his mouth, but his black eyes retaining the same intense, concentrated sense of invasion as if her very insides and entrails were privy to his observation.

"Are you reading my mind right now?" she questioned tartly.

"Nah," he replied simply before his face took a more sinister expression and his voice a menacing undertone. "If I were, trust me—you'd know it."

"I'm on to you. Your trickery and intimidation tactics won't work on me."

"Is that so?" He stroked his chin, the slight smile back on his face. "I wasn't trying to intimidate you. It must come naturally."

"Hmph." She turned back to the small fire and sometime during her fascination with the glinting flames she found herself watching her brother, now sound asleep alongside Akamaru. She smiled fondly as she recalled the time Kiba first received Akamaru, and how he slept alongside the puppy very much like he was doing now, despite both being much larger than they were then.

Everyone always said that aside from their noses, Kiba looked much like his mother, and Hana her father, which wasn't anything new. But now, she realized, with his hair growing longer and more unruly, and his stature steadily morphing from teenager to young man, she could certainly see the Kouro in him more than ever. She hoped, however, that the similarities between them stopped at that. She had always tried to instill in Kiba a sense of duty and responsibility that their father never had, but she still tended to worry. Unlike herself, Kiba seemed to have only fond memories of their father, and was always more ready to place the blame of Kouro's leaving on his mother than the man himself.

"You didn't tell him the entire story," she said suddenly.

"Didn't have the heart to," Ibiki replied at length, seemingly understanding her meaning, his eyes now also on the sleeping young man across from them. "Do you?"

She shook her head. Perhaps Ibiki was turning out to be more annoying and borderline insane than she had suspected, and she still held in contempt his occupation that so freely advocated the likes of torture, but there was a certain sense of relief in finally having someone to talk to about her father that wasn't her mother or brother. Someone who actually knew her father that wasn't going to sugarcoat his transgressions with jokes or vows that he still loved the children he so unhesitatingly left behind. Someone who actually knew her father that wasn't going to talk about him as if he were perfection incarnate, or grow angry when she endeavored to tarnish that colorful image with the black ink of reality.

"I'm guessing it wasn't too long after that my mom found out about that Izanami woman," Hana continued quietly. She hoped that the man would catch the hint and elaborate further on the subject. She had only managed to find out this little piece of information about fourteen months after her father left, when her mother had finally begun to believe that he wasn't coming back. She had said, in a drunken stupor of course, that he had cheated on her when they were reckless teenagers with his old teammate and there were times she wondered if he really had ever broken the habit, even after Hana and Kiba had been born. She never mentioned it again after that, however.

Ibiki turned to her in interest, regarded her for a moment, and sighed. "Eh, that was so long ago, even I hardly remember. I was about eight or so then, so I didn't really care about it anyhow. He came over one time to my house while she was watching over me; I stood behind a wall, listened to them fight like idiots for a while, got bored, and left."

Hana was slightly offended by his flippancy. "You take it so lightly."

"What can you do about it now?" He shrugged. "Far as I know, he stopped that business once you were born."

She scoffed. "I'm sure he did."

He smirked. "Well I'm sure not defending him, if that's what you think."

"Sounds like it," she murmured bitterly. "You've already exalted him enough for Kiba, as if my mother hasn't done that sufficiently. Come on, 'I could tell your parents were truly in love'? Are you serious?"

"I wasn't lying, whether it goes against what you want to believe or not. Clearly Kiba does not share your attitude regarding Kouro, so why the adamant resolution to change that?" Their eyes directly met each other's, and his next words were humorless and even. "It isn't your place to determine how Kiba should feel about his father."

She angrily turned away. He was right about everything, and knew it, as he wouldn't have continued the argument otherwise. She had always prided herself in being the rational and intuitive one in the family, and now here was Ibiki, turning the whole image around and making her feel as if she really knew nothing at all. But then, what did _he_ know? It wasn't fair that he felt he could tell her all these things about what she should do with her life when he really only truly met her two days ago. What made him think he had that sort of authority?

"But then, what do I really know?" Ibiki interjected dismissively, cutting into the tense silence, and Hana's own mental tirade. "I'm just a man, after all."

Well, Hana hadn't been expecting _that_ from him. She instantly blushed out of surprise as he accurately mirrored what she had been thinking, unabashedly catering to her sour mood. There was, after all, nothing like agreeing with an angry person to diffuse his or her temper.

"I think," she began slowly, "you are just really good at gathering enough about people to know what they want to hear when they want to hear it."

"You flatter me," he smirked in response. "How do I know you're not just telling _me_ what I want to hear?"

"You don't. Guess you're not the only one who can play mind games."

There was a deep rumble in his throat that Hana supposed was a laugh. She watched him as he watched the dimming fire, the weak amber glow of it slightly reflecting off of his face and accentuating the shadows of his eyes and the small dents of his scars. She couldn't read his emotions or inner thoughts in the slightest. How was it that he could already seem to know so much about her?

"Ibiki," she said suddenly. He turned back to her with minor surprise. It couldn't have passed his consciousness, after all, that it was the first time she had addressed him by name. "Earlier, when I asked if you were reading my mind…if you weren't actually doing that, it still seemed like you were studying me."

"I was figuring you out the old-fashioned way," he replied matter-of-factly. "Character dissections. Anyone can do them, but only a handful can do them well. A lost art nowadays, if you ask me."

"Really," she responded, less than a question and more like a skeptical retort. "What did you come up with?"

"Mostly things about your relationship with your brother and father, but not limited to that, of course."

She shifted uncomfortably. "Like what?"

Frowning, he considered her for a moment, then shook his head. "I don't think you'd—"

"Yes, I do," she pressed, subconsciously edging closer.

He sighed before speaking. "All right, but believe me, I was planning on sleeping before you started talking to me. You'll have to save any bitchin' until morning." She nodded impatiently to the terms as he continued. "You're quite interesting, Hana. You've got the disposition of a relaxed, prudent young woman but you're far from it. You hold grudges like nobody's business—possibly even worse than Tsume, but nothing's proven at this point in time."

"Not like it's undeserved," she retorted. "What else you got?"

"You like to blame other people for your problems. It's not necessarily something you intentionally set out to do, but it can be, especially with your father. You almost enjoy hating him, no? Men in general, really. Attention from them scares you, but at same time you wish for it, because you enjoy the ego trip that comes with that sort of recognition. Aside from that, you find your mother lacking as a parent, and feel the need to assume a sufficient parental role for your brother to ensure he doesn't have the same faults you believe your parents have. You think you're the only one out of your family who sees the situation for what it really is.

Therefore, since you feeling abandoned by your father, you are on a personal quest to in turn remove him from every part of your life, perhaps as some sort of mental revenge. This _may_ be the reason why you are so selective with men, slighting anyone you find similar to Kouro, but eh, this remains unconfirmed. It _is_ why you cannot stand the thought of Kiba loving his father through everything that has happened. You'd view that as failure, see?"

He paused for a moment, seemingly deep in thought as he stared at her silent face. "I can't help but think that perhaps Kouro favored Kiba in a way that bothered you so much you keep a slight grudge on your brother even to this day."

"That's not true!" she lashed back, before her face flushed. "And I don't think my mother's lacking."

He picked another blade of grass and renewed his chewing fixation. "Ah well, I guess even the best can't get everything right."

He hadn't actually used a tone of sarcasm but it was said with such flippant finality that Hana knew that he clearly meant for there to be no truth in the statement.

"Well you're just a lump of a man who takes up too much leg room and isn't as great at his job as he thinks he is!"

He placed his hands behind his head smugly as he situated himself against the log for sleep, crudely spitting out the chewed vegetation and closing his eyes before he replied. "That about sums it up."

Half an hour later, when Ibiki was either slumbering peacefully or at least feigning it well, Hana remained wide awake, fidgeting around uncomfortably for two hours more until she finally repressed her guilty conscience enough to remain asleep until dawn.


End file.
